Mental Health Without the Bullsht – Entry #9

IMPORTANT NOTE: I am NOT a mental health professional. If you need help, I STRONGLY encourage you to seek it, and you can start here. This series of blog posts is me candidly sharing my deeply personal experiences with you (with some tears along the way).

Let’s Talk About the Tough Guy Lie

“Man up.”
“Don’t cry.”
“Handle your shit.”
“Stop being a pussy.”

That’s the script a lot of us were handed from the moment we could walk.

Be strong. Be stoic. Be unbreakable.
Whatever you do—don’t feel. Don’t need. Don’t be weak.

And what’s the result?
A generation of men silently falling apart behind a mask of toughness.
Addiction. Rage. Burnout. Suicide.

Because we were taught that real men don’t hurt.
And if they do? They shut the hell up about it.

I Was That Guy

I’ve white-knuckled my way through trauma.
I’ve buried pain so deep it came out sideways—through anger, addiction, anxiety, isolation.
I’ve smiled when I was screaming inside.
I’ve lied and said “I’m fine” when I wasn’t even close.

Not because I was trying to be fake.
But because I didn’t think I was allowed to be anything else.

Vulnerability wasn’t safe.
Asking for help felt like failure.
Emotions were a liability.

So I hardened.
And damn near lost myself in the process.

Masculinity Shouldn’t Be a Prison

Being a man doesn’t mean being a robot.
It doesn’t mean shutting off your humanity.
It doesn’t mean suffering in silence to prove a point.

You can be strong and still ask for help.
You can be tough and still feel deeply.
You can be a protector and still fall apart sometimes.

Masculinity and mental health are not enemies.
They only become enemies when we buy into that outdated, toxic version of masculinity that says “real men don’t struggle.”

Newsflash: real men do.
They just hide it better—until they can’t.

The Cost of Staying Silent

• Men die by suicide at significantly higher rates than women.
• Most men with mental health struggles never seek treatment.
• Emotional repression turns into aggression, addiction, apathy, and collapse.

We’re bleeding out behind closed doors, too proud—or too scared—to say we’re not OK.

And the worst part?
No one sees it coming.

Because we’re trained to be “strong.”
Until we disappear.

What Real Strength Looks Like

You know what’s actually brave?

• Saying “I need help.”
• Telling your friend you’re not doing well.
• Going to therapy even when it feels weird.
• Crying without apology.
• Breaking generational cycles of emotional suppression.
• Letting yourself be fully human.

That’s strength.
That’s leadership.
That’s manhood with backbone.

If You’re a Man Reading This…

You’re not alone.
You’re not weak.
And you don’t have to keep carrying this shit by yourself.

You don’t have to perform toughness to be respected.
You don’t have to be silent to be strong.
You don’t have to suffer in the dark to protect everyone else.

You matter.
Your pain matters.
Your healing matters.

And it’s time we start acting like it.