I grew up in a Marine Corps family.
My dad did 20 years. My mom did 6.

In our house, respect wasn’t optional.
It wasn’t tied to feelings.
It wasn’t something you earned by being charming or agreeable.

It was mandatory.

You didn’t get to decide whether someone “deserved” respect based on whether you liked them. You respected them because that’s how disciplined adults behave.

Here’s something that seems to confuse people today:

Liking someone and respecting them are not the same thing.
They never were.

I dislike most people.
That’s not bitterness. That’s discernment.

But I respect everyone—to one degree or another.

Respect is the baseline.
Liking is extra.

Respect means:

• I won’t lie about you
• I won’t sabotage you
• I won’t dehumanize you
• I won’t confuse disagreement with disrespect

It means I’ll treat you like a human being—even if I’d rather not have a beer with you.

Somewhere along the way, we flipped the script.

We decided that feelings drive behavior, instead of discipline driving behavior.

Now people think:

• “If I don’t like you, I can disrespect you.”
• “If I disagree with you, you’re the enemy.”
• “If you offend me, I owe you nothing.”

That’s not strength.
That’s emotional immaturity wearing a moral costume.

In disciplined environments—like the military—respect is procedural.
It’s how groups function under pressure without collapsing into chaos.

You start with respect.
Then you adjust.

Respect goes up with:

• competence
• integrity
• accountability

Respect goes down with:

• dishonesty
• entitlement
• bullshit

But it never drops to zero.

The moment you strip respect entirely, you invite disorder.
And disorder always costs more than people think.

This applies everywhere:

• in leadership
• in business
• in families
• in society

You don’t need to like people to work with them.
You don’t need to admire people to treat them fairly.
You don’t need agreement to show basic decency.

That idea—that respect must be earned through likability—is one of the dumbest myths we’ve normalized.

Real respect doesn’t ask how you feel.
It asks how you behave.

And if that sounds cold or harsh, good.
Discipline isn’t supposed to be soft.

I don’t like most people.
I respect everyone.

That’s not a contradiction.
That’s how adults keep things from falling apart.