A quick note on the title before we start. Yes, I said bitch. No, I’m not talking about women, and I’m not calling anyone a name. I’m using it the way I’ve heard it used my whole life, in gyms, on job sites, and in every locker room I’ve ever been in. To make something your bitch is to master it. To own it. To…
Someone sent me a quote card the other day. You’ve probably seen it. “Albert Einstein said if he had an hour to solve a problem, he’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem itself, and 5 minutes on the solution.” I liked it. So I checked it. Einstein never said it. There’s no letter, no interview, no paper — nothing. It’s internet folklore, the kind…
How to Disagree Like an Adult — Part 5 (Final) This post is part of the How to Disagree Like an Adult series. If you missed earlier posts, start there. Not every conversation deserves your energy. That might sound like giving up. It’s not. It’s one of the most underrated skills in disagreement — and the one most people never develop. We’ve spent four posts…
The Skills Nobody Taught Us How to Disagree Like an Adult — Part 4 This post is part of the How to Disagree Like an Adult series. If you haven’t read the earlier posts, start there. This one builds on them. So far, I’ve written a lot about what’s broken. Why debate has collapsed. Why identity hijacks thinking. Why insults replace arguments. Now it’s time…
How to Disagree Like an Adult — Part 3 This post is part of the How to Disagree Like an Adult series. If you missed earlier posts, start here: 👉 Part 1 — When Debate Dies, Insults Take Over 👉 Part 2 — Ideas Aren’t Identities Most people think insults are strength. They’re not. Insults aren’t proof of righteousness. They’re the intellectual equivalent of raised…
How to Disagree Like an Adult — Part 2 This post is part of the How to Disagree Like an Adult series. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, start there. If there’s one thing I do (maybe too often), it’s say the quiet part out loud. So, here it is: Most people don’t defend ideas. They defend themselves. And that’s a big reason why…
How to Disagree Like an Adult — Part 1 This post is part of the How to Disagree Like an Adult series, exploring why productive disagreement is disappearing—and how to do better. Something is broken in how we disagree. People don’t debate ideas anymore. They attack people. Disagree with someone today and you’re rarely met with reasoning or evidence. Instead, you’re told what you are:…
(Don’t mix this up) I’ve learned something about myself over the years. When I use my brain to think and my heart to feel, I tend to solve problems. When I mix those two up—or let one completely overpower the other—I create chaos. This isn’t a theory. It’s lived experience. I’ve seen it show up in arguments with my wife. I’ve felt it behind the…
I was recently watching a video on Facebook about the history of the Panama Canal. On the surface, it looked legit. Professional narration. Historic photos. Confident tone. Lots of “facts.” But a couple of things didn’t sit right. Some of the conclusions being drawn didn’t line up with what I thought I knew. So I did what I believe any reasonable, responsible person should do:…
You’ve heard the saying before: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I think these days it’s paved with convenience. We’ve built a world obsessed with making everything easier, faster, and more comfortable—and it’s slowly killing us. Not in the dramatic, apocalyptic way movies show, but in small, quiet ways that eat away at our capability, our freedom, and our awareness. We wanted…