(Don’t mix this up)

I’ve learned something about myself over the years.

When I use my brain to think and my heart to feel, I tend to solve problems.
When I mix those two up—or let one completely overpower the other—I create chaos.

This isn’t a theory. It’s lived experience.

I’ve seen it show up in arguments with my wife.
I’ve felt it behind the wheel in moments of road rage.
I’ve watched it derail conversations that could have gone well if I had paused for just a second longer.

In those moments, I wasn’t being thoughtful—I was being reactive. And reaction feels good in the moment… right up until it doesn’t.

The Brain Is for Thinking

Your brain is a tool. A powerful one.

It’s designed to analyze facts, weigh tradeoffs, anticipate consequences, and choose a path forward that makes sense in reality—not just in the moment.

When I’m solving complex problems at work, I don’t need vibes. I need clarity.

I need to ask uncomfortable questions like:

• What do we actually know?
• What don’t we know?
• What are the likely second- and third-order effects of this decision?

Logic doesn’t care about my ego.
It doesn’t care how strongly I feel.
It cares whether something is true, sustainable, and effective.

The Heart Is for Feeling

Your heart has a job too—and it’s just as important.

It’s where empathy lives.
It’s where compassion, love, grief, joy, and fear show up.

Ignoring emotions doesn’t make them disappear. It just makes them leak out sideways—usually at the worst possible time.

The heart is what reminds me that the person across from me isn’t a problem to be solved, but a human being to be understood.

Feeling is not weakness.
Feeling is information.

But it’s a different kind of information.

Chaos Happens When We Use the Wrong Tool

Problems start when we ask the heart to do the brain’s job—or the brain to do the heart’s job.

Thinking with your heart turns disagreement into outrage.
Feeling with your brain turns people into abstractions.

I see this everywhere.

In the workplace, where emotional reactions drive strategic decisions—and logic is used to justify them after the fact.
In the media, where feelings are amplified and context is optional.
On social media, where instant emotional validation matters more than accuracy or understanding.

And yes—on the streets, where frustration turns into hostility in a matter of seconds.

When this balance breaks down, we don’t get better outcomes.
We get noise.
We get division.
We get chaos.

Balance Is the Work

This isn’t about suppressing emotion or becoming some cold, hyper-rational robot.

It’s about sequencing.

Feel first. Acknowledge it. Sit with it.
Then think. Analyze. Decide.

When I slow down enough to do this, I’m almost always better off.
My relationships improve.
My decisions improve.
My regret level drops dramatically.

When I don’t? I usually end up apologizing—to someone else, or to myself.

A Simple Question That Helps

When I catch myself spiraling, I try to ask one question:

“Am I trying to think right now, or am I trying to feel?”

That single pause has saved me from countless unnecessary conflicts.

We don’t need more outrage.
We don’t need louder voices.
We don’t need faster reactions.

We need better balance.

Use your brain to think.
Use your heart to feel.

It won’t fix everything—but it fixes a lot more than we’re fixing right now.