So, there was an election last week. If we’re to trust the results from the Associated Press (I do, but recognize some people don’t), 48.2% of us are lamenting the result and 50.2% of us are celebrating it.
Regardless of what I think or feel, it is what it is. It’s reality. What I decide to do with this reality is up to me. Will I demonize those who disagree with me? Will I undermine their efforts? Will I alienate friends and family who don’t see the world the way I do? Will I rub it in and use this as an opportunity to retaliate? Will I harass people on the street for wearing a MAGA hat or a Kamala/Walz t-shirt? Will I make fun of people struggling to cope?
The answer is NO! I won’t do any of these things.
We’re living in a time of division, where it feels like everyone is shouting and few are truly listening. The “me against you” mentality has taken over, fueled by social media, the news cycle, and an increasing tendency to box people into “us” versus “them.” But if we’re ever going to get past the bitterness and make real progress, there are three qualities we desperately need more of: empathy, compassion, and open-mindedness.
Empathy: Step Outside Yourself
Empathy means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Not imagining what you would do in their position, but trying to understand what they’re experiencing and why. Real empathy forces us to drop our biases, if only for a moment, and see the world through someone else’s eyes. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s a critical step. Why? Because when we understand where people are coming from, we stop seeing them as “other” and start seeing them as complex human beings.
Most people can empathize if they choose to; however, there are some who are “empathically deficient” or have “low empathy”. Depending on the extent and context, people who lack empathy are sometimes referred to as:
- Apathetic – someone who shows little or no concern for others’ feelings or situations.
- Egocentric or Self-centered – someone who focuses mainly on their own needs and desires, often at the expense of others’ feelings.
- Narcissistic – people with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) typically exhibit low empathy, though they may feign empathy for personal gain.
- Antisocial – individuals with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) often have a notable lack of empathy, displaying disregard for others’ feelings, rights, or well-being.
I can’t control or change other people, so instead of labeling others, I’ll choose to focus on myself and not become apathetic, egocentric, narcissistic, or antisocial (as much as I can help it anyway).
Compassion: See the Humanity
Compassion isn’t about fixing other people or looking down from some moral high ground—it’s about recognizing shared struggles. There’s a real strength in being able to say, “I feel your pain,” even if our experiences don’t match exactly. Compassion allows us to bridge divides because it reminds us that, at the end of the day, we’re all human. We’ve all been angry, hurt, scared, and we’re all trying to navigate this world with the cards we’ve been dealt.
Open-Mindedness: Embrace the Unknown
Being open-minded doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone or being neutral on every issue; it means being willing to listen and consider different viewpoints. This is tough, especially if someone’s perspective clashes with your deeply held beliefs. But the real power of open-mindedness is that it opens the door to growth.
When we allow ourselves to explore ideas outside our echo chambers, we may* still walk away with our beliefs intact, and we’ve gained a better understanding of the “why” behind other perspectives (and our own).
*NOTE: Opening yourself to other perspectives can be a very uncomfortable experience, especially if it’s something you don’t do often. When you open yourself to other perspectives, you may find that what you believed was wrong. A scary thought! In my own experience, if I can’t justify what I believe with logic and reason, I need to seriously question what I believe. What purpose would it serve to keep believing something that’s wrong?
A World That’s Divided Falls Together
The most frustrating part about today’s divisive culture is that it serves nobody in the long run. Progress comes from a willingness to look each other in the eye and find common ground. And that common ground won’t come through debates, arguments, or trolling online. It comes through conversations that acknowledge each person’s worth, pain, and humanity.
I’ve been around long enough to see this cycle before. In times of division, those willing to lean into empathy, compassion, and open-mindedness become the real leaders. They’re the ones who show us the way forward, not by shouting louder but by listening deeper.
So let’s remember: we’re all more alike than we care to admit, and by building bridges instead of walls, we can start to fix this broken world. The United States of America will prosper, but the Divided States of America will fail (miserably).
I appreciate your message, my friend, but I have a different take. IMO your strategy is flawed. Suggesting that the 48.2% give Trump the benefit of the doubt and show him empathy, compassion, and open-mindedness has no chance of turning down emotions when he exhibits none of those traits. In fact, I submit that taking the high road and showing him and his cronies empathy, compassion, and open-mindedness is co-dependent behavior that only serves to enable them. They want us all to roll over and the approach that you suggest is playing right into their hands. Go back and re-read the history of Hitler’s ascension into power. This is exactly what happened in Germany in the 1930s and enabled Hitler. Trump, like Hitler, is evil. And the only way to deal with his evil is to make it as hard for him and his cronies as possible and to resist (within the constraints of the law) at every turn. Any other approach is capitulation. Like it or not, we are in an adversarial situation in this country, and we are deeply divided. I’ve reluctantly accepted that as normative behavior. You may not, and that’s your choice. But we experienced this in the 1850s and 1860s and here we are again. Some would say that much of what we’re seeing today is just an extension of the emotions and politics of the Civil War era and that we never “got over it.” Ever spend any time in rural Alabama or Mississippi? Now that Trump is back in power, some of the 48.2% may shrug their shoulders and capitulate like the majority of the German population did in the face of Hitler. Others of us paid attention in history class and will never capitulate. We will die fighting the evil that confronts us.