Last week, I introduced you to Violet. Violet is presence. Violet is authority. Violet doesn’t bark because she doesn’t need to. She walks into a room and the room adjusts. Today, I’d like you to meet Rita. Rita weighs 4.5 pounds. Rita barks whenever she wants to. And Rita believes everything is her responsibility. If Violet represents quiet authority, Rita represents something equally important in…
If nobody read my shit, I’d still write my shit. That’s not bravado. That’s not a flex. That’s just the truth. And I know it because I’ve lived it—long before anyone was listening. The Talk Nobody Came To The first public talk I ever gave after starting FRSecure was at a big conference. This was probably 2009 or 2010. I was new to speaking, nervous…
How to Disagree Like an Adult — Part 1 This post is part of the How to Disagree Like an Adult series, exploring why productive disagreement is disappearing—and how to do better. Something is broken in how we disagree. People don’t debate ideas anymore. They attack people. Disagree with someone today and you’re rarely met with reasoning or evidence. Instead, you’re told what you are:…
I have five dogs. Let me repeat that. Five. Dogs. And yet… there is only one queen. Her name is Violet. She’s not the loudest. She’s not the neediest. She’s not the one causing chaos at 6 a.m. like the world is ending because someone moved a sock. No. Violet is different. Violet is my dog. The Queen Energy Every house has a natural hierarchy….
I grew up in a Marine Corps family. My dad did 20 years. My mom did 6. In our house, respect wasn’t optional. It wasn’t tied to feelings. It wasn’t something you earned by being charming or agreeable. It was mandatory. You didn’t get to decide whether someone “deserved” respect based on whether you liked them. You respected them because that’s how disciplined adults behave….
(Don’t mix this up) I’ve learned something about myself over the years. When I use my brain to think and my heart to feel, I tend to solve problems. When I mix those two up—or let one completely overpower the other—I create chaos. This isn’t a theory. It’s lived experience. I’ve seen it show up in arguments with my wife. I’ve felt it behind the…
I’ve spent more than 30 years in information security, and here’s a truth that still makes people uncomfortable: Information security isn’t really about information or security. It’s about people. But not just one kind of people. Every security incident—every breach, outage, or “technical failure”—involves three distinct groups of people, whether we acknowledge it or not: The people who make decisions — those who design systems,…
I was recently watching a video on Facebook about the history of the Panama Canal. On the surface, it looked legit. Professional narration. Historic photos. Confident tone. Lots of “facts.” But a couple of things didn’t sit right. Some of the conclusions being drawn didn’t line up with what I thought I knew. So I did what I believe any reasonable, responsible person should do:…
Here’s How I’m Actually Doing It. A few days ago, I wrote a post called Make 2026 Your B*tch. It wasn’t subtle. It wasn’t gentle. And it definitely wasn’t for everyone. That post was about deciding—deciding that this year wouldn’t just happen to you. That you wouldn’t drift, doomscroll, overcommit, or wake up in December wondering where the hell the year went. A bunch of…
Let’s get something straight right out of the gate. 2026 doesn’t owe you a damn thing. It’s not going to be easier just because you’re tired. It’s not going to slow down because you’re overwhelmed. It’s not going to wait until you feel “ready.” If you drift, 2026 will absolutely make you its b*tch. But here’s the good news— It’s early, and you still get…