Mental Health Without the Bullsht – Entry #6

IMPORTANT NOTE: I am NOT a mental health professional. If you need help, I STRONGLY encourage you to seek it, and you can start here. This series of blog posts is me candidly sharing my deeply personal experiences with you (with some tears along the way).

You Know the Type

The ones who always say they’re “good.”
The ones who crack jokes even when the world is falling apart.
The ones you vent to, lean on, cry to.
The ones who always show up, even when they’re running on fumes.

The strong ones.

The ones who never ask for help—because they’re too busy holding everyone else together.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you:
Sometimes, the strongest people you know are barely holding on.

The Strong Ones Are Masters of Disguise

They don’t show weakness.
They don’t break down in front of you.
They don’t want to be a burden.

They’re the ones who tell you everything’s fine when it’s not.
The ones who hide their pain behind a smile, a sarcastic joke, or a well-timed “I’m just tired.”

They know how to compartmentalize.
They know how to perform.
They know how to carry weight without showing the strain.

Until they can’t anymore.

I’ve Been That Friend

I’ve been the one everyone leans on.
The fixer. The calm voice. The dependable one.

But behind the scenes?
I’ve been lost.
I’ve battled addiction.
I’ve sat in dark places alone, thinking, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I didn’t reach out. I didn’t call for help.

Why?
Because I didn’t want to worry anyone.
Because I thought I had to be strong.
Because I didn’t know how to say, “I’m not okay.”

This is what high-functioning pain looks like.
And it’s f**king brutal.

Why They Don’t Speak Up

Strong friends don’t ask for help because:

• They don’t want to look weak
• They don’t think they deserve it
• They’ve been conditioned to be the rock
• They assume no one would understand
• Or worst of all, they assume no one would care

They’ve spent their whole lives managing, fixing, leading, absorbing.
Eventually, that takes its toll.

And if no one checks in—really checks in—they start to disappear into themselves.

Here’s What You Can Do

Check on them. Really check.

Don’t just say, “Let me know if you need anything.”
They won’t.
They don’t know how.

Instead, say:

• “No really, how are you—actually?”
• “What can I take off your plate this week?”
• “Want to talk or just sit in silence with someone who gives a damn?”
• “You don’t always have to be the strong one. Not with me.”

Listen. Don’t try to fix. Don’t make it about you.
Just be there. Show up. Let them know it’s safe to fall apart a little.

Sometimes, the strongest lifeline is just someone saying,
“I see you.”

The Truth Is…

Some of the strongest people in your life are silently struggling.
They might look like they have it all together.
They might be the ones cracking jokes in the group chat.

But behind closed doors, they’re battling demons you’ll never see—unless you care enough to ask.

So this is your reminder:

Check on your strong friends.
Not once. Not when it’s convenient.
Make it a habit.

Because strength doesn’t mean invincibility.
And no one—no one—can carry it all alone forever.